A Cloudy Savasana

Anyone who has taken a yoga class can vouch that after a long and deep practice, one of the most relaxing (and well-deserving) poses at the end of the class is Savasana, or Corpse Pose. You are on your back looking like a comfortable starfish, and point of this pose is release. Release any tension in your muscles and let your body sink into the earth below it. However, the hard part is not the physical, but the mental. Release thought from your mind. No thinking. As someone who’s trains of thought leave the station at rapid speed, this is the hardest thing for me to do, to meditate and clear my mind.

Every class, I wind up going through a similar experience:

Me during Savasana: Clear your mind. Clear your mind. Clear your mind… Repeating clear your mind is thinking. Stop thinking…. *inhale… *exhale… *inhale… *exhale… You haven’t emailed Vivian about the meeting for Steven yet. I bet she’s emailed your now. You have to email her. Annnnd I’ve probably missed a call from Susan again. Always. Every time. Stop it! Blank! *inhale….*exhale… *inhale… *exhale……… I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight… maybe pasta? Or soup? I still have some stock from this weekend. Ehhh its too warm for that right now. No soup. Stop thinking! Clear your mind. Look at the black…. *inhale… *exhale…………………… Should today be a cheat day? I went to yoga today so that counts as a good day. Do I deserve pasta? Screw it, I always deserve pasta. I don’t have onions. Or garlic. I’ll run to Wegmans after work. Oh. Toilet paper. Remember toilet paper. And napkins. Darn it, time to sit up. 

Does anyone else do this? I hope I’m not the only one…Hi, my name is Becca, and I am a perpetual list maker. For me, to-do lists are hard to ignore. Lists for today, for the month, for the year, groceries. self-development, job opportunities, wines to try, anything. I’ll make a list of it.My mother drilled into me since I was little that there was always something to do and that one should never be idle. If you are smart, you’ll have the next two things already in your mind before you finish your current task. As great at this advice is, it makes it that much harder to be present in what you are participating in the now. 

The one thing I do to try and keep this from happening is keep a list of today’s to-do’s every morning. What do I have to get done today? If there are things I didn’t get to yesterday, I’ll just move them to today’s list. This at least helps get them out of my head before I go insane. But sometimes just seeing all the times you have to do on paper becomes daunting and I get anxious from a huge list. Which, in turn, makes it even more difficult to begin crossing off points on the list.

So, I divy up the list to must do’s ASAP, sometime today, and whenever I get the chance in the next week. That at least makes it less stressful for me. This method has worked so far. However, savasana is one of those moments where I just can’t help myself. It’s a work in progress, but just telling someone to clear their mind is much easier than just doing it, especially for a few minutes. 

How do you manage your to-do lists, and how do you stay present? I’d love to hear your methods and try something new 🙂  

Resolutions

Every year, usually after Christmas has come and go, we find ourselves looking inward with optimism. What can the New Year bring, and what can I do to ensure it’s a better year than last? We all make the inevitable goals of “more gym, more vegetables, more books”, or a different goal that never quite continues past the first two weeks of January. This year I am trying something new. I want to make a game plan that actually lasts. Start small, and make it into a habit. Difficult, yes I know. But I want to see how it goes.

  1. Don’t eat out as much. I’m sure I am not the only one that spends too much money on going out to restaurants and bars with friends and on food that I could make at home. I’ve told myself that there is no reason to eat out when you have leftovers. So this year will be the year of  cooking and leftovers. Why spend money on someone else’s food when you could learn how to make it at home. I love to cook, and it is something I truly enjoy doing. So, cook more! Save money.
  2. Read some more. I have a goal to finish one book a month. It shouldn’t take a month to read a book, especially me who loves reading. I read news articles and fun op-eds here and there, but it would be great to put a dent into my reading list, the list that doesn’t include school readings.
  3. Exercise more. Two years ago, I began exploring the world of yoga. Getting totally sucked in, I committed to getting 200-hr certified, and have loved it ever since. This past year, I had begun rock-climbing as something fun to do with friends, but ended up falling in love with it the same way I did yoga. Lo and behold, the gym close to my home gives me the best of both worlds, offering both a state-of-the-art indoor climbing gym, and yoga classes that are geared towards climbers. I couldn’t ask for more. Therefore, my goal for the year is to go to at least three yoga classes a week, meaning also climbing at least three times a week. Once school starts, I imagine it will be tuesday, thursday, friday, and sunday. Before that though, any time 🙂
  4. Write! I started this blog last year to help encourage me to keep writing. Someone told me that the only way to improve your writing is to write. I can somewhat agree with that. My style for this blog is a mixture of stream of consciousness with a “dear diary” kind of feel, but I want to explore different writing styles. So, the goal is to write a post every week. I’m sure with school I will have plenty of papers and memo’s to write, so I am not terribly concerned over those. However, this year I want to get into the habit of truly practicing and developing my own writing style. I’m excited!

 

These are the four physical goals of the year for me. I don’t think they are too much, and mostly pertain to my physical habits. As for mental, I have two goals I am working on.

Accept that you aren’t perfect, and never will be!!

The hardest goal I have set for myself is to accept my mistakes and own up to them. I am someone who tries to be perfect, and any mistake, I will try to fix right away before anyone knows about it, even though it would be much easier to own up to it, and ask for help. I need to be better about asking for help for things, especially when it’s something I’ve done wrong. This is incredibly hard, since I so badly wish to be perfect (typical oldest child syndrome). However, it’s high time I accept that I am not, and I won’t be. So save the headaches, and just roll with it.

Stop Trying to Get People to Like You!!!!

The second and somewhat less difficult goal is to be less accomodating. When it comes to others, I want everyone else to be comfortable before I am comfortable. This leads to deferential treatment of people when it isn’t necessary. In a business setting, this will only keep me at a lower level than my peers, when I should be at the same. To those around me, I wish to show that I am capable and respectable, without the need to be looked down. In essence, I should stop being so nice just to please people. This sounds like self-flattery, but I don’t mean it in that way. My tendency to cater to others is a bit of an insurance policy, so that they don’t see me as a threat. However, if I ever want to make a lasting mark, I want to be seen, heard, and not forgotten. So, no more bending over backwards to please people.

Welp. It’s down on paper (sort of). So, I’ll do my best, stick with it, and know that it is for the betterment of myself and my relationships. Happy 2019 everyone! Please let me know what your resolutions are this year!